kill self

"It is forbidden to commit seppuku," the computer responds. Kill self is an invalid command.

Zork is horrible. It's literally as fun as navigating an automated phone system. The lack of physical space actually makes it feel claustrophobic, if that makes sense. You're free floating, and directions like north, south, east and west have little meaning. I can go east, and then go south, and end up right where I started. Or I can go east from the white house, and finding myself in a forest I go west to return to the house, but I'm still in a forest. The house is gone, and if I ever want to get back it just means crossing my fingers and hoping I eventually get back. Every once in awhile I find myself back at the canyon, which seems very exciting because "it is possible to climb down into the canyon from here." But only, not by typing "climb down" or "climb down into canyon" or "enter canyon" or any other command I can think of.

I'm not very comfortable with this kind of game, with no visual cue of what's happening to your character. It makes me feel like I'm not in control. I've played point-and-click adventure games like King's Quest or Phoenix Wright, and the difference in being able to actually see the environment makes a big difference to me. Zork feels like someone made a nightmare out of computer code so that you can have one while conscious.

What's interesting about Zork, and I don't know if this is intentional or not, is that the narrator asserts himself as a character in the story. Reaching the canyon, he says, "Fortunately, my vision is better than average, and I can discern the top of flood control dam #3 far to the distant north." Is this a guy hanging out with you? Some kind of tiny angel/devil on your shoulder? Who knows. I lied when I said this was an interesting point and I apologize for that.

One thing you get with a text adventure game that isn't very common in gaming is the lack of a defined main character. You play as you, not some space marine or blue-haired ninja or elf. You don't have to reconcile yourself as the main character, although on the whole I'm not sure if this is a good thing or not. Sure, it doesn't tie you down to a main character you don't like, but by not even having a main character it forfeits a major advantage of narrative, which is sympathizing with the characters in a story. It puts more of the burden of motivation on interest in the game itself, since you don't have any good reason to "help" a character reach the end. There's always the risk that the character offends the player and he doesn't want to see that character save the princess or conquer the world or whatever, but on the whole it seems people just generally like helping video game characters. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just a natural tendency toward altruism or maybe it feels like more of an accomplishment to help a prince reclaim his throne than if you didn't know the prince in the first place. Either way, Zork avoids the issue altogether, and in doing so places the burden of motivation entirely on the curiosity of the player and the satisfaction of playing in the game world. That said, my curiosity burned up pretty quickly and I didn't find navigating the world very fun to begin with, so I quit somewhere around finding a jewel-encrusted egg in a tree.